So much about manners, etiquette and being a good citizen to your neighbors we learned before we were 10 years old. Things like "Do unto Others", "The Golden Rule" treat others as you would like to be treated. Yet today, a simple mistake can cause all out war and in some cases actual death. People do not know how to manage their tempers. People do not know how to manage their own selfishness. I witnessed this at the grocery store recently. It was a long line and the cashier has to call for assistance because an item didn't have a price tag. Then I begin hearing grumbling words like "are you kidding me" "seriously" and more... from those waiting in line. Whatever happened to having patience? Being a kind neighbor? Are those days lost forever? Are we truly living in a world where only the strong survive? I believe we might just be there now. The lady who was just trying to buy groceries kept apologizing, when in all actuality it was not her fault. I did tell her that loud enough for everyone to hear. But, You could feel her anguish, her embarrassment and you could feel she wanted out of there so bad. Is this how we make people feel now? I want to live in a world where people are patient with each other, is that world available? You won't believe what I uncovered...
Andrea Brognano, LMHC, LPC, NCC Kristen Fuller, MD "Most times, others are mean because of what is occurring in their own life, and less often does it have to do with you or the actual situation. Common reasons people are mean include they have a need to gain power, they feel threatened, or they struggle to regulate their emotions. In any case their behavior is not ok, but don't say anything because if you do a whole other kind of crazy could be unleashed".
What is terrible about this is those who cannot regulate themselves leave a lot of hurt in their wake. Yet their actions most always get let go and we make excuses; "they're having a hard day", "They've not been feeling well" "They just had a death in their family"...Whatever the reason, again the person or persons generally get away with it, until they come up against someone who challenges them and even then, if you are a bystander back away because its going down and hard. Here's why, the one who began the issue doesn't have anything to lose and the one standing up has everything to gain. But beware, in todays culture you have to expect one or both are carrying a weapon and maybe one or both have a mental illness. Making a situation Uber volatile. What's a person to do?
As we witness either in person or on the news groups enter a business and take whatever they feel like and people are helpless to do anything. Is it because there is no one at home to monitor behavior? Is it that schools no longer teach citizenship? what is wrong? Well, all I can say is Maybe if enough of us start practicing Good Etiquette we can change something in this big world.
Here are my personal Top 10 Faves:
1. Use Proper Greetings
Always greet people with a smile and a hello. If you’re not sure what to say, a simple “Hello, how are you?” will suffice. When meeting someone for the first time, it is also important to introduce yourself and make eye contact while shaking hands.
2. Say “Please” And “Thank You” NOT No Problem!!
These are basic manners that show gratitude and respect. Always say “please” when making a request and “thank you” when receiving help from others.
3. Practice Good Table Manners
This includes using utensils properly, keeping your elbows off the table, and chewing with your mouth closed. Also, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.
4. Be Mindful Of Your Language
Avoid using foul language, especially in public places or around children. Use polite and respectful language at all times.
5. Respect Personal Space
Don’t stand too close to people, and always ask before touching someone. Be aware of your surroundings and respect people’s privacy.
6. Dress Appropriately
Dress appropriately for the occasion and location, taking into account the dress code and cultural norms. If you are unsure of the dress code, remember that is always better to be slightly over-dressed than under-dressed.
Take care of your personal hygiene, including bathing regularly, brushing your teeth, and wearing clean clothes.
7. Be A Good Listener
Pay attention to what people are saying and show interest in their opinions. Avoid interrupting or dominating the conversation. Also, be respectful and considerate of other people’s opinions.
8. Never Criticize anything about another person that they cannot correct in 20 seconds or less. Telling a person you hate their new drastic haircut is hurtful and not helpful in any way.
9. Practice Good Communication
Be clear and concise when communicating with others. Avoid using slang or jargon that may be unfamiliar to the other person. Be mindful of your non-verbal communication, such as body language, as it can convey a lot of information about your intentions and emotions.
AND Put Your Phone Away
Avoid using your phone or other electronic devices when in the presence of others, especially during a conversation or meeting.
10. Be Punctual
Show respect for other people’s time by being punctual for appointments and meetings. If you’re running late, let the other person know as soon as possible.
Lets begin today!!! Toodaloo