top of page

How to Provide Support and Comfort to Someone who is Hurting


Are you struggling to support a friend or loved one who is going through a tough time? It can be challenging to know what to say or do. But don't worry, we've got you covered! In this blog, we'll provide you with some tips and strategies for providing comfort and support to someone who is hurting. Let's dive in!

Understanding Different Forms of Hurt

Introduction: We all go through tough times in life, some more than others. In such times, support and comfort from friends and family play a crucial role. However, it’s not always easy to know how to provide the right kind of support. In this guide, we aim to give you some useful tips and insights on how to provide support and comfort to someone who is hurting. Understanding Different Forms of Hurt: Identifying signs of hurt: Sometimes it's easy to spot when someone's struggling. They might seem more withdrawn, agitated or quieter than usual. They might display behaviors such as excessive alcohol or drug consumption, insomnia or overeating. Other times, however, it's not so clear, and they might mask their struggles well. It’s important to keep an eye on those around us, checking in on their mental and emotional well-being from time to time. Types of hurt: Hurt comes in various forms such as grief, heartbreak, anxiety, depression, addiction, abuse, PTSD, and so on. Each of these challenges requires different levels of support and comfort from those around us. Understanding the type of hurt someone is going through can help us provide the right kind of support. Providing Support to Someone in Distress: Offering comfort: Sometimes all it takes is a simple hug, a warm smile, or a cup of tea to provide the desired comfort. A small gesture of kindness can go a long way in making someone feel less alone and more supported. Listening Ears: Listen more than talking. Be fully present and listen actively to what is being said. Sometimes people don't want solutions, they just want to be heard and seen. Make them feel valued by allowing them to share their thoughts and emotions without interruption or judgement. Acts of Kindness to Uplift their Mood: Send a thoughtful text message, prepare a nice meal, or surprise them with a small gift. These acts of kindness can help boost their mood and give them a sense of hope when they need it the most. Empathizing with their Pain: Validating their emotions: Everyone has the right to feel what they are feeling. Validate their emotions by acknowledging that it's okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. We need to refrain from downplaying their emotions or making them feel guilty for having them. Acknowledging their struggles: We all have our unique struggles, and acknowledging them helps us feel seen and heard. Letting them know that you acknowledge the difficulty of what they are going through lets them know that their feelings are valid. Avoiding Common Traps: Avoid giving unsolicited advice and trying to 'fix' the situation. Sometimes, all someone wants from their loved ones is emotional support, and they do not wish for any advice on how to solve their problems. Avoid judgment and assumptions. Everyone's experiences are personal and different. Avoid making assumptions or saying something that may make the person feel judged or belittled. Avoid telling them to 'get over it'. Healing is a process, and it takes different people different amounts of time. Therefore, refrain from telling them to 'get over it' as it may feel insensitive and unhelpful. Reaching Out for Professional Help: Understanding when to suggest professional help. In some cases, providing comfort and support might not be enough, and professional help might be necessary. If you feel like you are doing everything you can, and their condition seems to remain unchanged or worsen, consider suggesting professional help. Offering support in seeking it out: Acknowledge that taking the initiative to seek professional help may be challenging, but also provide encouragement and an open door policy. Resources to connect with: Share with them a list of available resources and professionals. Empathize with them and express how proud you are of them for taking this important step. In conclusion, providing support and comfort to someone who is hurting is a selfless act that goes a long way. We hope that this guide has provided you with some useful tips and insights on how to support loved ones during their difficult time. Remember always to be kind, empathetic, and supportive.

Providing Support to Someone in Distress

Introduction: When someone we know is hurting, it is natural to want to lend support. However, sometimes we can find ourselves in unfamiliar territory, not knowing what to say or do. In this blog post, we will explore ways in which you can provide comfort and support to someone who is going through a tough time. Understanding Different Forms of Hurt: Before we dive into the specifics, it is important to recognise that hurt can manifest in many different ways. This may include an acute emotional crisis, such as a break-up or job loss, or it may be a more gradual process stemming from a chronic illness or other health condition. Whatever the case, it's important to be aware of the signs and types of hurt. Providing Support to Someone in Distress: When you encounter someone in distress, offering comfort is often the first step. Sometimes just being there for them can make a big difference. Listening ears are also crucial- sometimes just offering a listening ear can be one of the most helpful acts of kindness. You could also offer practical ways to help uplift their mood, like sending them a small gift or taking them out for a coffee date. Empathising with their Pain: It can also be helpful to empathise with the pain that the person is experiencing. Validating their emotions, acknowledging their struggles, and letting them know that their feelings are normal can all be powerful ways to provide support. Avoiding Common Traps: While it is important to be supportive, there are also a few common traps to avoid. Giving unsolicited advice, trying to "fix" the situation, judging or making assumptions can all be harmful. It's also important to avoid telling someone to "get over it" as this can trivialise their pain. Reaching Out for Professional Help: If you feel that the person may need more help than you can provide, it may be time to suggest professional help. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is important to approach it with sensitivity and compassion. You could offer resources to connect the person with, and support them in seeking help. Conclusion: Supporting someone who is hurting can be a challenge, but it is an important way to show love and kindness. By offering comfort, listening ears, acts of kindness, empathy, and avoiding common traps, you can be a supportive presence in that person's life. Remember, it's okay to seek professional help if needed - seeking help is a brave and wise decision.

Empathising with their Pain

Empathising with their Pain: When someone is hurting, it's crucial to acknowledge their pain and offer comfort instead of brushing it off by saying "it's not a big deal." Validating their emotions is essential, so they don't feel alone in their situation. Telling them you understand their struggles even if you haven't experienced it yourself can go a long way. Avoid saying things like "I know how you feel" unless you've been through a similar situation. Listening to them and being empathetic can create a safe space where they can express themselves freely. Showing them you care can go a long way in comforting them during this time.

Avoiding Common Traps

So your friend is going through a tough time, and you want to provide support. You want to be there for them, but you're not sure how to approach the situation without making things worse. Here are some common traps you should avoid when offering comfort: Firstly, do not give unsolicited advice and try to “fix” the situation. Your friend likely just needs to vent and have someone validate their feelings. Sometimes they may just want a sympathetic ear and not someone to give them solutions or advice they may already know. Secondly, avoid judgement and assumptions. Don't try to project your personal experiences onto your friend's situation. You never know how your friend may be feeling or what they may be going through. Lastly, don't tell them to "get over it." Almost nothing feels worse than someone dismissing your pain or telling you it's not valid. It's important to remember that grief and pain are two of the only things that all humans share, regardless of their situation, and it affects them how they react to the loss or the hurt. It's okay that everyone grieves differently and experiences pain differently. Remember, every person and situation is different, so just approach the situation with empathy and be there to comfort them.

Reaching Out for Professional Help

It's important to know when it's time to suggest professional help for someone who is hurting. While offering a listening ear and comforting words can go a long way, sometimes individuals may need more support than we can provide. Keep an eye out for signs that their distress may be more than what you can handle, such as frequent crying spells or erratic behavior. If you notice such signs, it's important to suggest seeking professional help. This can include therapists or mental health professionals who can provide more extensive support and resources. It's important to have an open conversation with the person about this, and avoid sounding judgmental or pushy. Offering support in seeking out professional help can also go a long way. You can help them research therapists or counselors in their area or provide resources for support groups. Let them know that seeking help is a brave and important step towards healing, and that they are not alone in their struggle. In conclusion, while we may not always have the solution to someone's pain, we can provide them with the tools to find their own path towards healing. Suggesting professional help is one such tool, and can provide the resources and support necessary for someone to move beyond their distress.

  1. Listen with Empathy: One of the most powerful ways to support someone who is hurting is by lending an empathetic ear. When they express their feelings, concerns, or frustrations, actively listen without judgment. Give them your undivided attention, maintain eye contact, and provide verbal and non-verbal cues that you're engaged in the conversation. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their experiences, allowing them to express themselves freely and honestly.

  2. Offer a Safe Space: Create an environment where the person feels safe and comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions. Assure them that whatever they confide in you will be treated confidentially and without criticism. Encourage openness by creating a non-judgmental atmosphere where they can be vulnerable and express their pain freely.

  3. Validate Their Feelings: During times of distress, it's essential to validate the emotions of the person you're supporting. Let them know that it's normal to feel a range of emotions and that their feelings are valid. Avoid phrases like "you shouldn't feel that way" or "it's not that big of a deal." Instead, use statements such as "I understand why you feel this way" or "It's okay to be upset about this."

  4. Show Empathy and Compassion: Demonstrating empathy is crucial when providing comfort to someone in pain. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective. Use phrases like "I can imagine how difficult this is for you" or "I'm here for you, and I care about what you're going through." Show compassion by being patient, gentle, and understanding, even if you can't fully relate to their specific situation.

  5. Be Present and Available: Let the person know that you are available to support them whenever they need it. Offer your time and attention, whether it's through in-person conversations, phone calls, text messages, or virtual meetings. Check in on them regularly, but respect their boundaries and give them space if they need it. Reassure them that your support is ongoing and that they don't have to face their struggles alone.

  6. Practical Help and Assistance: Sometimes, providing support goes beyond emotional comfort. Assess the person's needs and offer practical help if appropriate. This could involve assisting with household chores, running errands, or coordinating appointments. By alleviating some of their burdens, you demonstrate your commitment to their well-being and show that you're willing to go the extra mile.

  7. Encourage Professional Support: If the person's pain is severe or if you feel unequipped to handle their situation adequately, encourage them to seek professional help. Suggest therapy, counseling, or support groups that specialize in the particular issue they are facing. Assure them that seeking professional assistance is a sign of strength and self-care.


Remember, providing support and comfort to someone who is hurting is not about fixing their problems or offering unsolicited advice. It's about being present, empathetic, and supportive. Show them that you are there for them, and offer a listening ear, acts of kindness, and validate their emotions. Avoid judgment and assumptions, and refrain from telling them to 'just get over it.' If the person is experiencing severe distress, help them seek professional help. Remember, your actions can make a significant impact on their well-being.


  • "How to Help Someone with Depression" by Beverly Potter

  • "The Art of Comforting: What to Say and Do for People in Distress" by Val Walker

  • "There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love" by Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell

bottom of page